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AMERICAN ACCENT TO BE BANNED

In a much welcomed announcement it has been confirmed that the American accent is likely to be banned worldwide by the end of the decade because "it is just too annoying".

The unanimous global consensus was confirmed in a statement by Brian Sane, 45, of Barnstaple yesterday.  

Mr Sane said "It's no longer a question of "if" but "when" the ban will come into force, although he would not be drawn on the thorny question of an acceptable replacement accent, saying, "quite frankly any alternative accent is likely to be widely endorsed (apart from maybe certain types of "Geordie" or an over emphasised French accent).  World markets responded positively to the news, rising on average by over 8 points.

Cigma Empowered Websites

Plans for New Meningitis Website

"Stand by for a re-launch of the MFMF website", announced Ray Finch earlier today.

"I'm on my way to visit my old friend Johnny (Snake-Belly) Parsons as we speak, to discuss a complete overhaul"

The new site should be ready for the re-launch before Christmas.

"I'd like to thank everyone for their continued interest in and support for MFMF over the years", added Ray, "and a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all"

Spiritual Splendours

Hand-made natural candles and gifts

www.spiritualsplendours.co.uk

Cigma Library

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Redwood Place Trials Local Community Network

The idea is to construct a private local network for the residents of Redwood Place where local information can be shared e.g. 

• Neighbourhood Watch
• Check if anyone needs help
• Watching out when residents are away
• Local services; GPs, dentists, pharmacies
• Local events etc.